More people than ever are meeting their future partners online – in chat rooms, social networking sites and through online matchmaking agencies. There’s nothing wrong with meeting this way, but once it’s time to get together in person, take some precautions for safety and to ensure all goes well.
The other person will have more respect for someone who is smart in the relationship from the beginning. If everything works out, the first meeting could be the beginning of a loving relationship.
Ask Questions Before the First Date
Before the first date, ask questions more than once to check consistency. Find out where the other person was born, his occupation, why he chose that field, what kind of childhood he had and whether or not he was married. During another conversation, mention something that will bring out more information related to the first set of questions. Pay attention to any inconsistencies that raise red flags.
Where to Meet
Plan the first get-together in a public place, in broad daylight if possible. Choose a familiar location where there is more than one way to escape if needed. A weekday lunch is ideal if it’s possible to get away from the office because it offers a good excuse to break away early. If this doesn’t work out, suggest Saturday brunch and plan to meet friends afterward.
What to Wear When Meeting the First Time
On the first date, don’t wear something provocative that will send the wrong message. This doesn’t mean it’s necessary to wear a turtleneck, long sleeves, and baggy clothes. It’s just a good idea to be conservatively and tastefully dressed to project an image of confidence and good judgment.
Getaway Plan
For those who drive, it’s a good idea to park as close to the entrance of the meeting place as possible. Avoid parking in out-of-the-way lots that involves a long walk to a secluded area.
Those without a car may consider taking a taxi that is scheduled to arrive at a pre-designated time. This adds an additional reason to cut the first date short.
Go “Dutch Treat”
Going “Dutch treat” with each person paying his or her own way removes any potential of misunderstanding of obligations from the first meeting. If things don’t work out, no one will have to feel slighted. The only expenditure was time.
Avoid Alcohol
In order to be sharp and maintain all of the senses, don’t drink alcoholic beverages before or during the first date, even if the other person does. The last thing someone needs to do is dull the senses or lower inhibitions that will result in making a mistake that can’t be undone.
Friend Code
If possible, have a friend call after the first hour. Have a coded message that will let the friend know everything is okay. It also provides an opportunity to leave if things aren’t going well.
After the First Date
Many people make a great first impression but can’t maintain good behavior for long. It’s a good idea to chat on the phone and meet in public places a few more times before a more intimate get-together is planned. Dress appropriately in order to be taken seriously and present a positive image. Have a plan to get away if things don’t work out. Being cautious shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings because it shows common sense and intelligence, which should add to the attraction.
Debby Mayne - Debby Mayne is a published author of more than 30 novels and novellas and former fashion writer for the Home Shopping Network.
